The Male Gaze

To the guy on the train today;
Yeah, you. I was the girl in the pink skirt & the black faux fur-trimmed sweater with the book about the Black Death. You were sitting in the last seat, next to where I was standing.
I’m not sure if you know this, but the way you were looking at me was not sexy. It wasn’t desirable. Your one hand on your crotch and your eyes on my breasts did not turn me on. Your hand that kept accidentally-on-purpose grabbing mine didn’t either.
I can’t speak for all women, but I speak for me. When you look at me like that it scares me. You look like you’re thinking of how fast and all the ways you can devour me. Your gaze turns me from a person to an object. How much is that woman in the window? Maybe you’re comparison-shopping, but I’m one of a kind. The mold was broken and the instructions were burned after I was made. Also, I won’t give you my time if you treat me like you do. You’ve lost your chance, do not cross “go,” do not collect $200.
I’m a sexual being, not an object. I don’t want to scare away the other, kinder guys. I’m not a blow-up doll, I’m not a porn star, I’m not wearing my sex-life or my kink on my collar, so I don’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. But I don’t like it. And if you keep it up I will knee you in the crotch.
So to all the guys out there who don’t want to lose their chances with me, here are some tips: 1. Talk to me. I’m nicer than I look, I usually look so dour because I’m in self-defense mode. 2. Compliment me but don’t stare. It’s creepy. 3. My eyes are 12” above my breasts. I don’t mind if you sneak a peak, because my breasts are magnificent, but I will notice if you haven’t looked at my face. 4. Don’t touch me without my fucking permission! Subways are crowded, accidents will happen, but I can tell what’s intentional from the unintentional.
Seriously. Would you want someone looking at your mom, your grandmother, your daughter, your wife, or your sister like that? Then why is it ok to do it to a stranger. Treat me like a human being and I will be nice to you, but I will be angry if you treat me like a piece of meat. And you would not like me when I’m angry.


An Unexpected Absence

Here's the sit.;
I sprained my ankle about 3 weeks ago. That was really painful and depressing & I've barely been able to work. I've just been in a general funk.
Anyway, I'n about to come out of the closet here. I'm bipolar. My doctor decided to try me on geodon & now I am dealing with the worst side effects on earth. My legs, mostly, have been uncontrollably spasming for about the past 3 days. Sometimes it turns into muscle cramps. I'm also very nauseaous & dizzy. I'm dealing with major sleep deprivation. Hence the absence.
But I have some good news. A really scuzzy man tried to hit on me & I sent the story in to Hollaback NYC. They saw my journal & asked to link to us, so, of course I said yes. W00t for increasing web traffic!


Hopefully Justice Will Be Served

The killers of Michael Sandy, a gay man who was beaten and hit with a car before dying will be charged with murder and manslaughter.


Birds, Bees Come Out of Closet in Oslo

The world's first museum exhibition documenting homosexuality in the animal kingdom has opened in Oslo, Norway, despite condemnation from Christian nut-jobs. The exhibit documents homosexuality in species including giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, and whales.
When asked why animals would behave in a way that could be described as an evolutionary dead-end, project leader Geir Soeli said, "The sexual urge is strong in all animals. ... It's a part of life, it's fun to have sex." Finally, someone gets it! Sex isn't a sin, it's fun!
In a decidedly unChristlike manner, Christian loons said that the organizers should "burn in hell." At least Hell will be attractively decorated with good music and movies and populated by people that are in shape and well groomed. Besides, shouldn't they be busy visiting their creationism museums? Just remember, dinosaurs are Jesus ponies.


How Many Times Will I Have to Use "Sickening" in a Headline?

The NY Times is reporting about three men charged with hate crimes for assaulting and robbing a gay man.
John Fox, Gary Timmins, and Ilye Shurova talked with the victim, Michael J. Sandy, on the internet and lured him to a parking lot near Sheepshead Bay, telling him to bring enough money for a hotel room. They then proceeded to assault him and chase him on to the eastbound lanes of the parkway. After dragging his body from the parkway they rifled through Mr. Sandy's pockets.
A hate crime is defined as, "...one in which a victim is chosen because of race, color, sexual orientation, religious practice or some other protected category..." according to Brian S. MacNamara, an assistant professor of law at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. The burden falls on the prosecutors to prove that Mr. Sandy was chosen as a victim because of his sexual orientation. It seems really obvious to me that Mr. Sandy was targeted because of his sexual orientation because the defendants lured him from the internet to a popular gay meeting place.
Mr. Sandy is currently in a coma, on life support at Brookdale University Hospital and Medical Center. His family is contemplating removing him from life support. I wonder if there are any vigils or rallies planned to support Mr. Sandy and his family?
Edit: Michael Sandy has died.


Cheap Labor Good for America!

A study has found that employing immigrant workers as domestic help can boost the economy. The study says;
...that in Hong Kong and Singapore, where private household workers make up about 7 percent of the labor force, immigrants raise the income of native low-skilled workers by 3.9 percent and push overall native income up 1.2 percent.

What the article doesn't address how domestic help in the U.S. is treated and paid. One immigrant interviewed said that she feels that her work allows her boss to work. So on the one hand they're allowing women to pursue advanced careers. But on the other hand we have to ensure that they're not abused by a society that doesn't want to treat them like real people. The article addresses this towards the end;
Human rights groups are highly critical of Asian programs for domestic workers. They say women working as domestic servants in Singapore and Hong Kong are often overworked and physically exploited, and that laws to protect them are weak.
But the work is often lucrative for the workers and their families. In the Philippines, which supplies much of Asia with its maids, money sent home by millions of Filipinos working abroad hit a record high of $10.7 billion last year -- about 10 percent of the nation's entire economy.

This is a really difficult issue that's going to force our society to evaluate what makes a citizen.



Hey everybody. I'm just writing to say that, very embarassingly, I fell down the stairs yesterday. I only fell down four stairs but I landed on the left side of my body with my left foot twisted under me. I landed right on my left ankle. The part that I fell on is terribly bruised and swollen to twice its size. I'm going to stay at my dad's house tonight and tomorrow I'll be going to a doctor to get x-rays. I won't be able to update for a few days, at least. I'm really sorry.
Moxie Hart