The Male Gaze
Yeah, you. I was the girl in the pink skirt & the black faux fur-trimmed sweater with the book about the Black Death. You were sitting in the last seat, next to where I was standing.
I’m not sure if you know this, but the way you were looking at me was not sexy. It wasn’t desirable. Your one hand on your crotch and your eyes on my breasts did not turn me on. Your hand that kept accidentally-on-purpose grabbing mine didn’t either.
I can’t speak for all women, but I speak for me. When you look at me like that it scares me. You look like you’re thinking of how fast and all the ways you can devour me. Your gaze turns me from a person to an object. How much is that woman in the window? Maybe you’re comparison-shopping, but I’m one of a kind. The mold was broken and the instructions were burned after I was made. Also, I won’t give you my time if you treat me like you do. You’ve lost your chance, do not cross “go,” do not collect $200.
I’m a sexual being, not an object. I don’t want to scare away the other, kinder guys. I’m not a blow-up doll, I’m not a porn star, I’m not wearing my sex-life or my kink on my collar, so I don’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. But I don’t like it. And if you keep it up I will knee you in the crotch.
So to all the guys out there who don’t want to lose their chances with me, here are some tips: 1. Talk to me. I’m nicer than I look, I usually look so dour because I’m in self-defense mode. 2. Compliment me but don’t stare. It’s creepy. 3. My eyes are 12” above my breasts. I don’t mind if you sneak a peak, because my breasts are magnificent, but I will notice if you haven’t looked at my face. 4. Don’t touch me without my fucking permission! Subways are crowded, accidents will happen, but I can tell what’s intentional from the unintentional.
Seriously. Would you want someone looking at your mom, your grandmother, your daughter, your wife, or your sister like that? Then why is it ok to do it to a stranger. Treat me like a human being and I will be nice to you, but I will be angry if you treat me like a piece of meat. And you would not like me when I’m angry.